Pretty and Poor

I’m back from my trip to wild, wonderful West Virginia! I was a little optimistic last week when I said that I’d be blogging about my adventures during my time away…you see, blogging isn’t really possible without the power of the Internet or a Blackberry that works. So, that said, I’ve saved all my great stories and pictures for this week! You’re in for a real treat.

Starting tomorrow, I’m taking the nation by storm. Not quite, but that was fun to say. I’m actually joining my family on a trip to West Virginia to visit our extended family and relatives. Here are some things you should know about West Virginia.

1) West Virginia has the worst shopping of any state in the nation.

2) From where I’m staying, the closest shopping mall will be over an hour away. Half the stores at that shopping mall are completely vacant.

3) Wal-Mart is a big, damn deal.

Those things all sound harsh—I should really cut West Virginia some slack. It’s actually a pretty wonderful state. It’s a beautiful place with amazing mountains, breathtaking views and untouched areas of wilderness (good thing I’m really into all of that, better remember to pack my Teva sandals). Plus, the people in West Virginia are ridiculously friendly. They always call you, “Hun” and say things like, “You’re just pretty as a doll,” and “Well, bless your little heart.” I like that.

Aside from the scenery, there’s a lot I’m looking forward to! Like I mentioned earlier, West Virginia is where my entire family lives and I can’t wait to see all of them. Grandma’s, Grandpa’s, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins-- some of which I don’t even know. The last time I visited West Virginia I was standing in line at the store and a man approached me, asked if I was “so and so’s girl” and then proceeded to explain how we were related. That wasn’t the first time a situation like that had happened and it’s bound to happen this trip, too. I’m also looking forward to sweet tea, laying by the pool, smoking a stogie with my grandpa, playing “waitress” at our family-owned restaurant (people have complained about the service when I’ve done this before), playing with puppies (because someone in my family is guaranteed to have a dog that just had puppies) and partaking in some extreme sports (rafting, fishing or ATVing). And no, I’m not kidding about the extreme sports thing. Everyone needs to play outside every once in a while.

Starting tomorrow, it’s unofficial West Virginia Week on Pretty and Poor. I’ll keep you posted on my travels, hilarious situations and purchases through pictures and postings! Stay tuned for a week with less fashion than usual and more fun than ever (especially if I can manage to get my hands on some moonshine).

Today's Pretty Proclamation reminded me of my little mishap last Saturday night. Read the blog entry before this one for the scoop on my dress and my wardrobe malfunction.

"A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view."

~Sophia Loren, who definitely knows how to rock a dress! This also reminds me how powerful the right fit and shape can be when wearing clothes. The next time you buy a dress, ask yourself, "Is this dress serving its purpose without obstructing the view?" The answer might surprise you, and as a result you just might find your inner diva.

Picture this. I’m out on Saturday night having fun with my friends. I’m wearing a very trim little dress that enhances my assets and looks great with my skin tone. I’m dancing a little. Working the crowd. Flirting here and there. As I plop down into a plush velvet lounge chair after a lap around the bar I hear a “zip” and suddenly feel as if the left side of my body has been exposed. That’s because the nice little side zipper has completely broken. Guess it couldn’t take the pressure.

I quickly grabbed one of the swank throw pillows nearby and strategically placed it under my left elbow until I could attract the attention of my friend. Once she was within earshot I mouthed an, “I need help” and glared at her with a stern and serious expression. I explained to her that something terrible had happened. Showed her the exposed side of my body (which would have been perfectly acceptable in a strip club) and told her to walk with me to the ladies room.

Once inside the restroom we both entered a stall and began tugging at the zipper. It wouldn’t budge. That’s when things got serious. I quickly pulled off my dress, apologized for the awkwardness of being crammed in a bathroom stall with a nearly-naked me and pulled the zipper with all my might. Just when I thought I was going to have to leave the bar with a throw pillow stuck to my side, the zipper gave way and zipped back up! Success.

Funny how things just have a way of falling apart without warning. It seems like a mini-crisis presents itself on a daily basis. Sometimes these crises manifest themselves in the form of wardrobe malfunctions.

In the past year alone, I’ve had some doozies. Last winter I noticed that the hem had fallen out of my black Donna Karen pencil skirt at work. Half of my skirt was hanging to the side in a raggedy fashion (very couture) while the other side looked tailored. Needing a quick fix I decided to get creative. I grabbed my stapler and stapled the hem back into the skirt. Then, I colored the staples black with a Sharpie marker. Good as new.

Then there was the day last summer where I was wearing another skirt with a slit in the back. I ran out to grab lunch, foolishly plopped down into the seat of my car in a very un-ladylike fashion and heard a giant rip. I stood up again to realize my slit had drastically increased in size. What previously just went beyond my knee now showed off considerable portions of each butt cheek. I went to the tailor instead of lunch.

Just last week my bra strap kept peeking out of my top, so I paper clipped it to the inside of the shirt. It really never ends. When you’re out and about, away from your home you find yourself in situations where a quick fix is essential! Sometimes our crafty fixes, while creative, are clumsy and awkward. There are some solutions, however, that are more stylish than tape, paperclips, staples or markers.

The GO-GIRL line of products is designed for those fashion frights that need immediate attention. Perhaps GO-GIRL’s most infamous product is their LINT-ON-THE-GO-SHEETS! that conveniently (and stylishly) get hairs, fuzz or lint off your outfit (Kelly Ripa is a fan, and she always looks put together). GO-GIRL also offers CHIC double-sided apparel tape—perfect for those crazy hemlines, peeping bra straps or plunging necklines. Check out their entire line of helpful products for the girl on the go by clicking here.

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Shop now by clicking here! Don’t be that girl in the bar carrying around one of the swank Moroccan throw pillows to conceal a faulty zipper. Be confident in your clothing—no matter what surprises it throws your way!

Today's Pretty Proclamation is taken from one of my favorite books called She. This book is currently sitting out on my coffee table and I read it, oh, just about every day. It just has a way of making you feel like the fabulous person you are. Here is my favorite quote from the book.

"She crossed borders recklessly, refusing to recognize limits, saying bonjour and buon giorno as though she owned both France and Italy and the day itself. Celebrate her joie de vivre."

~From She by Kobi Yamada. In case you're not a French scholar (ah hem) I will translate. "Joie de vivre" can be translated to a "zest for life" in English. Makes you feel empowered, huh?

I cannot stress what a perfect gift this book makes for friends and those women in your life who are really special to you. Click here to get your copy for under 15 bucks.

It’s been drizzling for days. In fact, I’m not sure if I’ll ever see the sunshine again. But I’ve had a lot of time to sit inside during the gloomy evenings and think about things. I’ve thought about purses, shoes, boys, nail polish, puppies…you know, important matters. This morning, however, I thought about something that I take for granted on drabby, rainy days—my umbrella.

My umbrella isn’t your plain, ordinary umbrella. That probably doesn’t come as a shock to you. There's not a whole lot about me that could be summed up as plain or ordinary. Oh no, my umbrella is a fabulous design by LuLu Guinness that makes walking around in the rain surprisingly fashionable and chic. Sometimes, it even makes me feel like singing, skipping…or pretending I’m Mary Poppins.

My umbrella is a design from about four years ago with brightly colored acrobats all over it. The acrobats take me back to age five when I spent a couple months in acrobat classes after deciding that tap dancing lessons weren’t for me.

Every time I carry it, someone says, “What is that all over your umbrella?” I usually respond with, “Acrobats. Duh.” Since my life is generally comparable to a three-ring circus, acrobats just seem appropriate. Once, however, someone asked if I had strippers all over my umbrella. Not quite what I was going for.

I’m getting off topic. Back to umbrellas—get one that will erase your rainy day blues! One that makes you happy! One that sends out happy, positive vibes to those around you. Lulu Guinness has a fabulous selection (although my design isn’t still around).

I’m smitten with this “Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining” umbrella by Lulu. The lining of the umbrella is actually silver and the elegant writing makes it sophisticated and timeless (a lot like acrobats…or strippers).

This black and white Marc Jacob’s umbrella is small enough to throw in your tote and stylish enough to make a statement! And, it’s on sale now at Nordstrom!

If you’re into the traditional look (and really splurging) you could always settle for a Burberry umbrella to add a little British influence to your rainy day.

So ditch the boring umbrellas! Throw those plain-colored Walgreen’s purchases to the wayside. Get yourself a sassy little number that’ll make a statement. And yeah, you might end up spending a little bit of moo-lah, but you can blame it on the rain (and yes, now I have the Milli Vanilli song stuck in my head).

I’ve been spending a lot of time in the kitchen lately. That is, after all, a woman’s place in this world. Just kidding. But seriously, ever since my commute to and from the office has decreased, I’ve had tons more time to perfect my culinary abilities. Amazingly enough, I’m actually having a good time. I’d say I’m a young, fresh, slightly eccentric cross between Paula Deen and Rachel Ray. Except I’m blonde. And possibly more entertaining (listen up Food Network execs).

Like everything else in my life, I have to look the part to be in the kitchen. And I don’t hold back (see picture above). I have all the bells and whistles to compliment my chef persona. My apron is perhaps my most notable piece. I wear it when I grill, bake or whip up any of my signature dishes. It's black and pink with a striking black and white houndstooth print. It has a pink bow, a blinged-out rhinestone buckle and a little embroidery that says, "Domestic Diva." And it’s become quite the hit when entertaining. I suggest you also find an apron that let’s you express your cuteness in the kitchen.

This cute, chic number with a big bow and ruffles is girly, fun and fabulous! Or, you could spice things up with a contrasting yellow and black design.

Another part of my kitchen couture is my black and zebra print rubber gloves (with polished "nails"). While I don’t wear these during the cooking process, I definitely sport them when cleaning up. After all, who wants to destroy a perfect manicure because of a few dirty pots and pans? And yellow rubber gloves are so 10 minutes ago…

In the past couple weeks I’ve whipped up clam chowder, crab cakes (I was on an East Coast kick), fish tacos, enchiladas and one mean blue cheese burger! With the right accessories, I might just morph into the domestic goddess I never thought I’d be!

I had to break out my winter clothing today because it’s so cold here in Minneapolis. That’s right. I’m wearing a sweater and jeans. And I’m devastated. Those of you who know me know that I love summer clothing. Since I can’t actually wear summer things today I wanted to channel all my energy into sharing. Wearing. Sharing. It’s all the same. Here are five of my favorite summer finds. And if it ever warms up here in the north, you might actually see me bopping around enjoying the summertime in a few of these finds.

1) Snakeskin: Make your wardrobe a little more exotic with great snakeskin accessories this summer. From shoes and belts to skirts and dresses, there’s a ton of snakeskin slithering through the marketplace right now. The fact is, it’s a hot trend—especially for accessories—that just so happens to be a classic. Pick your pieces wisely and you’ll be able to incorporate snakeskin into your wardrobe for years to come. These adorable Michael by Michael Kors pumps will be a winner for work this summer. Or, try pairing them with a sassy dress for a night on the town.

2) Metallic-Hued Glasses: Make your summer sizzle with a pair of hot, metallic shades. A rock star worthy pair of chic sunglasses with metallic hues is the perfect partner for any outfit and the best way to accessorize like a diva. With a low Price Per Wear (PPW), you might just be able to justify splurging for this pair of Versace showstoppers. Gleam on.

3) Printed Tote: Nothing complements your summer basics like a big, fun bag with a funky pattern. A sturdy, go-anywhere tote like this Tory Burch Printed Tote could hold your laptop for a day at the office or transition to a weekend tote full of beach towels, sunscreen and couple good magazines. Of course, you could also use it for a morning trip to the farmers market or a hard-core day of shopping. It’s a summer essential!

4) Shirtdress: An easy, breezy shirtdress is the most effortless summer wardrobe option you can buy yourself. Everyone needs a good shirtdress or two. Slip it on with flip-flops and a couple bangles and your set for the day. This shirtdress, currently on sale at Gap works great for a day of errands or an afternoon at the beach.

5) Fresh Fragrance: Summer is a time for flowers, warmth and fresh breezes—your fragrance should reflect that. If you haven’t treated yourself to a new scent in a while, splurge for something fabulously floral this summer. It’s a great way to take a deep breath and say, “Out with the old, in with the new.” Plus, everyone will love being around you. Marc Jacob’s Daisy is a fresh, floral scent that’s feminine and chic.